Read....this,,,,,,,,,,,,post...............ZZzzzzzz
I hate complaining about church since it seems so wrong, but this thing jsut irks me really badly. Today at church, it seemed to grow to such a monstrocity that the whole world noticed should have noticed. It was almost unbearable. Extremely oppressive. It is the scripture reading at the beginning of the service.
It is bad enough that we have to use the "Scripture reading inserts" that they provide for us (In retrospect, this isn't really a bad thing. The bad part that drives me nuts over this must be the fact that it is called the "scripture reading insert". It isn't called anything else. It is the "scripture reading insert". Referring to it by another name, preferably shorter, is totally illegal. It must be called the "scripture reading insert", no matter how many times it is said. If you don't call it the "scripture reading insert", you are obviously in violation of something. Therefore "scripture reading insert" is always used when addressing the "scripture reading insert"). When they start reading, it is almost alright, but once they hit the slightest comma, hyphen, or semicolon, everyone comes to a complete and abrupt silence. The blazingly loud silence lasts seemingly forever before P.W. decides to roll out of his trance and continue onward to the next phrase. I don't even want to think about where periods and line breaks occur. It even happens without punctuation marks. After conjunctions like "and", they freeze half the time when it wasn't even used for making a compound sentence.
I don't know how they even get off doing this. It puts me to sleep. We read the first phrase at an excruciatingly slow pace, and I try to speak and process it at the same time as it comes. It is a totally different method of comprehension than what almost anyone else goes through in normal reading. I have a hard time trying to concentrate on what I am reading when this slo-mo replay of the Bible is going on.
And if, heaven forbid, you slip up and accidentally utter a word in a human like timing, your voice resonates through the hall for all to hear perfectly clearly and snicker under their breath.
Someday all the old people are just going to stop mid sentence and not start up again. Death by seized up brain. How sad.
An underground resistance... Hmm...yes. That is what we need.
A group of people to, just,,, continue reading. They can either keep up, or keep out. Simple as that. Yes...
It is bad enough that we have to use the "Scripture reading inserts" that they provide for us (In retrospect, this isn't really a bad thing. The bad part that drives me nuts over this must be the fact that it is called the "scripture reading insert". It isn't called anything else. It is the "scripture reading insert". Referring to it by another name, preferably shorter, is totally illegal. It must be called the "scripture reading insert", no matter how many times it is said. If you don't call it the "scripture reading insert", you are obviously in violation of something. Therefore "scripture reading insert" is always used when addressing the "scripture reading insert"). When they start reading, it is almost alright, but once they hit the slightest comma, hyphen, or semicolon, everyone comes to a complete and abrupt silence. The blazingly loud silence lasts seemingly forever before P.W. decides to roll out of his trance and continue onward to the next phrase. I don't even want to think about where periods and line breaks occur. It even happens without punctuation marks. After conjunctions like "and", they freeze half the time when it wasn't even used for making a compound sentence.
I don't know how they even get off doing this. It puts me to sleep. We read the first phrase at an excruciatingly slow pace, and I try to speak and process it at the same time as it comes. It is a totally different method of comprehension than what almost anyone else goes through in normal reading. I have a hard time trying to concentrate on what I am reading when this slo-mo replay of the Bible is going on.
And if, heaven forbid, you slip up and accidentally utter a word in a human like timing, your voice resonates through the hall for all to hear perfectly clearly and snicker under their breath.
Someday all the old people are just going to stop mid sentence and not start up again. Death by seized up brain. How sad.
An underground resistance... Hmm...yes. That is what we need.
A group of people to, just,,, continue reading. They can either keep up, or keep out. Simple as that. Yes...
posted by Cyphoid at 6:32 PM
3 Comments:
This, Drewey, is why you're just supposed to mouth "WatermelonWatermelonWatermelon" over and over again during the out-loud scripture reading. But I guess that's just a bandaid on a gaping wound, eh? heh.
Today ,instead of special music, Drewey gives a spoken solo, during the comma pause in the "scripture reading insert"
Oh, BROTHER!! I was thinking the exact same thing during church. Oh, man, I almost started reading really fast, just to see what people would do. Seriously. Nothing worse than slow, bad reading. I'm totally with you, Drewy.
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